The Popcorn Colonel Read online

  “Dad, check that out!” William said. “I bet there are movies showing somewhere closer than this one,” William said laughing.

  “I’m sure someone is just here visiting a friend or relative. I’ll be at the coffee shop until the movie is over,” replied his dad.

  “Okay, dad,” William said as he reluctantly climbed out of the car. William’s mind kicked back into gear as he shook from the anxiety the twins had draped over him, but a sudden burst of energy filled him with confidence as he focused instead on testing the glasses with the theater popcorn.

  “Will! Slow down, kid. Here’s some money. Why are you in such a hurry?

  “I just want to get a seat on the front row,” he told his dad, but the real reason he was in a hurry was because he wanted to tell Marie about his failed experiment and his new idea about the magic glasses working on the theater popcorn. He was anxious to try them out; he just had to keep out of sight of the twins.

  “I want some change back…,” William’s dad said over his shoulder as he walked toward the coffee shop.

  “Sure thing, dad,” he replied, only half-listening.

  William spotted Marie exiting the bookstore and checked to see if the coast was clear. Why couldn’t his dad have parked in front of the bookstore? Then he wouldn’t have to make it through the maze of people waiting for the doors to open. He blended in as best he could and made it over to Marie and whispered: “I think I know the secret of these glasses, but we have to be careful; the twins may be on to us.”

  The ticket line was growing longer by the second, and William’s patience was wearing thin. Finally, with tickets in hand they stowed their 3D glasses in their pockets and walked into the theater. They were instantly wrapped in the smell of fresh popcorn as it wafted through the air. All the moviegoers’ chatter filled the room and created the perfect cover for William and Marie to discuss their plans to test the glasses. Mr. Zuckerwatte was sweeping popcorn up off the tile mosaic in the center of the lobby floor. William had seen the mosaic many times before, but now that Mr. Zuckerwatte was standing right on top of it, a strange coincidence jumped out at him. Through several pairs of feet that were inconveniently standing in the way, William tried to see the details of the mosaic. It was made in many shades of yellow and gold, and there was a circle encompassing the letter “Z” in the middle. Surrounding the “Z” were orbs of brushed gold connected by long, narrow, shimmering gold arched bands. Something about it seemed oddly familiar. He had not paid much attention to those details before. William found it curious that it had the letter Z. He looked up and Marie was in line waving him over, so he had to peel his attention away from the mosaic. Coincidence or not, William filed this new discovery away in his mind.

  As William slid a pair of the mystery glasses into Marie’s jacket pocket, he caught a glimpse of Mr. Zuckerwatte over her shoulder. Mr. Zuckerwatte nodded his head and smiled as he went about his work, whistling like a songbird. He was wearing the monocle again. It was the second time on the same day for a man William had never known to wear eyewear to do just that. Could it mean something? The kids got in line for snacks at the concessions counter. William was certain he had seen Mr. Z. pull something from his vest pocket and put it into the popper. Attention to detail….

  With their arms full of overflowing buckets of popcorn and big cups of fizzy soda, they made their way through the maze of green velvet ropes and waited in line to give their tickets to an unfamiliar man. William had not seen him here before; he must be new. It seemed like all the children and the noise were getting on his nerves. This man was not happy to be here, and he seemed preoccupied and distracted. His brow was furrowed while his eyes darted around the room. He ripped tickets as people left the lobby and entered the dark theater room.

  “Hey, Mr. Z.!” William called out.

  Mr. Zuckerwatte walked over to William, leaned down to William’s ear and said ever so quietly, “I zink you vill find out zom interesting zings if you put on zose glasses you’ve got in your pocket.” He nodded at William and gave him a pat on the shoulder.

  His heart pounding, William put the glasses on. Nothing interesting at all happened. What should he have expected to see? The theater wasn’t special after all. He was back to square one. William looked over to Mr. Zuckerwatte for advice.

  “Not zee 3D glasses, zee uhzer pair,” he said with a wink. William flushed with embarrassment. He had accidently grabbed the wrong glasses in his pocket. He sheepishly swapped the glasses, and in an instant the mosaic on the floor flickered to life and glowed. It appeared that the orbs encircling the “Z” were flames; William thought he even heard crackling. The people standing on the mosaic didn’t seem to be bothered at all by the flames licking at their ankles. Startled, he pulled the glasses off and he stepped back, looking for Mr. Zuckerwatte.

  Mr. Zuckerwatte was already shuffling off and disappearing into a dark hallway. The mosaic was no longer flickering and was back to just golden tiles. William noticed a lot of popcorn lying around on the floor. Poor Mr. Z. had just swept up. Popcorn certainly had its way of falling out of buckets. He wanted to put the glasses back on to take a look at this popcorn, but he noticed that the man taking the tickets had been watching him. The queasy knot in his stomach reminded William that he didn’t know where the twins were. He spun on his heels, taking in the occupants of the lobby. They weren’t there.

  “What did he tell you?” Marie asked William in a whisper, startling him; he had been getting lost in thought more and more lately.

  “I’ll tell you when we get to our seats. I have a weird feeling about that man taking tickets; something tells me he is up to no good.”

  When it was the children’s turn, they handed their tickets to the strange man who, according to his name tag, was Kettler Cornwell. His thin black mustache tilted a sneer at them. He ripped their tickets and handed them the stubs. That sneer was uncomfortably familiar. William had seen it on the bus earlier that day courtesy of the twins. Odds were that Kettler Cornwell was their dad.

  William and Marie headed for the theater room. As they pushed open the swinging door, they heard a voice exclaim, “Grandfather, what are you doing inside? I told you to stay in the van!”

  The voice sounded upset. William could not imagine anyone being upset to see his or her grandpa. He looked back to see what was going on. Kettler Cornwell, the ticket taker and the twins were talking to an elderly man stooped over on a cane. He lifted the cane up and began waiving it around like a bit of a lunatic. Mr. Zuckerwatte had appeared, looking concerned as he walked over to offer assistance. Maybe the twins had gotten into trouble already and were going to be asked to leave. William was positive Mr. Zuckerwatte had the problem under control, and he and Marie went into the dark theater. The aisle was lit with rows of lights that looked like miniature lanterns. There were still seats available up front. William and Marie claimed them just in time.

  “What did Mr. Z. say?” Marie asked William as a piece of popcorn toppled from her bucket onto the floor and disappeared into the dark.

  William looked left then right to make sure no one was paying attention to their conversation and then whispered, “He told me that we should wear the glasses in here. They have to belong to him. He must have put the box under the hedge in front of my house so that I would find it. How else would he know what I had in my pocket, and how else would he know that we should wear them in here? I put them on in the lobby and the floor lit up….”

  “The floor lit up? What do you mean the floor lit up?” Marie whispered.

  With a feeling that he was being watched, William looked over his shoulder, up to the projector room. Cornwell, the ticket taker, arms crossed, was looking down at them. He thought he noticed another figure up there as well. Maybe it was Mr. Zuckerwatte setting the movie to the projector, or perhaps it was the Kettler grandpa. William had not seen him come in to find a seat.

  “I’ll have to
tell you later,” William told Marie. “I don’t think it’s safe to talk about in here.”

  William was continually gathering solid evidence that something very abnormal was going on in this theater. The lights dimmed, and the movie started. Everyone around them put on their 3D glasses, so William and Marie did the same.

  CHAPTER SIX

  The Time Stood Still

  The movie screen was bright blue as the sky above a baseball field appeared. “Strrriiiiike!” the umpire yelled, and the batter for the home team tightened his grip on the bat, dug his cleats into the dirt, and was ready for the next pitch.

  The bat connected with a mighty crack and the ball sailed off into the distance.

  “Marie, let’s try Mr. Z.’s glasses,” William whispered.

  “But the movie just started…,” Marie whispered back, not taking her eyes off the screen as she crammed a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

  William could not wait; he had to find out what was going on. He elbowed Marie, and she jerked her head in his direction. He looked excited, impatient, and annoyed with her, all at the same time. Reluctantly she agreed, and they both leaned forward and switched glasses. When they looked back up at the screen, they could not believe their eyes or their ears. They no longer heard the movie. It had stopped playing, and no one seated in the theater was moving; they were all frozen solid in time. William and Marie sat there in awe and could not say a word. Their jaws dropped in disbelief.

  William and Marie looked at one another, then to the left and right. They both stopped and stared intently at a strange light source to their right emanating from behind the thick heavy curtains that flanked the movie screen. William saw a piece of popcorn moving along the floor away from Marie’s foot. It moved from side to side, then toward the glow.

  “I’m going to go see the floor in the lobby,” said Marie as she stood up to leave.

  William grabbed Marie’s arm, “Umm... Marie… Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”

  Marie followed his gaze and she gasped, “Oh, my goodness; yes, I am. Do you think that’s the piece of popcorn that fell from my bucket?”

  As the popcorn zoomed under the curtain and out of sight, Marie dropped a few more kernels to the floor and waited, but nothing happened.

  “Maybe it jumped out of your bucket and you just thought it fell,” joked William as he waited for the discarded popcorn to move.” He gave an unconvincing laugh.

  “Let’s check it out,” said William, gathering his courage and indicating the direction of the light that escaped from the heavy curtain where the moving popcorn had gone.

  William tried to see if Cornwell was still watching him, but the light on the movie projector was too bright. Maybe he was frozen in time like the rest of the audience. William hoped for the best as they walked over to the curtains beside the screen. As William disappeared behind the heavy curtain, Marie looked over at their vacant seats and saw their abandoned popcorn tubs and drink cups. She hoped they would still be there when they got back. Once behind the curtain, Marie’s eyes adjusted to the darkness, and she felt her way down the wall. Soon the wall began to curve and the golden glow became brighter. William was waiting for her by the source of the light -- a doorknob.

  “Are you sure we should be doing this?” questioned Marie. She wasn’t one for getting into trouble or breaking rules.

  “Lift your glasses up,” William told her.

  When she did, the golden doorknob along with the glow vanished; it was just a plain door with a plain dull grey knob. She put the glasses back down on her nose, and the golden knob appeared again. William reached for it.

  “No! Wait, Will. Wait. I don’t know about this. Maybe we should go find Mr. Z. You said you think he knows something. Let’s go ask him,” Marie urged.

  It was too late. William had already turned the knob and the door opened. A warm light spilled out into the darkness onto William, along with the smell of fresh popcorn. He took one look at Marie and stepped inside. Marie stood still for a moment, terrified of what might happen. William poked his head out from behind the door with a wide smile on his face.

  “You’ve got to see this!”

  Marie hesitated and then decided they had already come too far to turn back now. They could always ask Mr. Zuckerwatte questions later. She walked toward the open door and stepped in.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The Locked Door

  What was waiting for her was too unbelievable even to imagine. They were standing in a storage room filled with antique poppers, broken seats, outdated soda machines (one had overflowed or leaked recently), and a variety of other discarded concession equipment. Yet that was not the only thing in there. They looked at each other, mouths open in complete shock.

  It was popcorn…and it was… alive with arms and legs and wearing clothes. William stood still as all the popcorn scurried around trying to find a place to hide. One little popcorn person stood his ground in the center of the room, and a group of others gathered in a military formation behind a strange movie reel contraption.

  “It’s okay,” William assured the little kernels as he knelt down to get a closer look. “We aren’t going to eat you.”

  “Eat us? That is the most absurd thing I have ever heard, young man! Where is the Colonel? Did he send you to fix the beacon? Well if he did, you’re too late. We’ve already made the necessary repairs. Why are you wearing his glasses? Who is she? And just how did you get in here?” said a voice to William’s left.

  From the opposite direction, they heard a second voice, “Who gave you authorization?”

  William looked around, trying to find where the voices were coming from.

  “Down here, boy,” the first voice said.

  Standing before them was a popped popcorn kernel wearing a dapper red and white striped suit and a matching top hat.

  “That’s right,” said the suited popcorn man. “I’m a talking popcorn person and so on and so forth. Now hold yourself together; it’s time for you to explain what you’re doing in here.”

  “I - I - I don’t know who the Colonel is,” William said. “My neighbor, Mr. Z. gave me these glasses.”

  Marie gave a weak wave looking slightly woozy and pale. “I’m Marie. It umm…sounds like you need help with something. Is there anything we can do?”

  The popcorn man stepped toward William, ignoring Marie’s offer. “Why did you say that you weren’t going to eat us?”

  “Well…” William said, “Well, because you are popcorn and everyone loves to eat popcorn.”

  “What is this nonsense? Don’t be absurd,” the little man said. tapping the brim of his top hat with his walking cane. “No one eats talking popcorn.”

  “I want to see the Colonel right this minute! Now run along and fetch him. That is an order, boy!” the second voice said sternly.

  The stern voice belonged to a piece of popcorn dressed as a soldier in candy wrapper camouflage standing at attention next to a drinking straw covered in a bazooka bubble gum wrapper.

  “Man your battle stations!” he commanded, and his fellow soldiers rushed into position.

  “I don’t think this is a matter of national security Sergeant Half-Popped,” said the popcorn in the red and white suit.

  The Sergeant snapped his heels and turned to march toward the popcorn in the suit. William and Marie watched the silent disagreement unfold.

  The Sergeant turned to leave in defeat. “You’re making a big mistake,” he said.

  “Come on, William; let’s go get Mr. Z.,” Marie urged in a whisper.

  “Okay, okay, let’s go,” said William. “We’ll be right back, popcorn people.”

  He and Marie headed for the door, both noticing they were on the back side of the movie screen. They could see the reverse image of the movie’s baseball field, but nothing was happening. The ball was still suspended in mid
-air exactly as they had left it when they got up to investigate.

  “I didn’t know you could see through movie screens,” said Marie. “Isn’t that what was happening when we left?”

  William shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t think you can. This one is different somehow. And yes, that’s where we left the movie; this is crazy.”

  “William, aren’t you finding this to be more than just crazy?” Marie was bordering on shock.

  Pulling back the curtain, they found that no one had moved since the time that they had put on the glasses. They headed back to their seats and saw two groups of tiny little popcorn fellows sitting there. Half of them were wearing baseball uniforms with red pinstripes, and half were wearing blue. They all had ball caps on. One popcorn person had his cap on sideways and was holding a baseball bat. They happened to be sitting on William and Marie’s vacant seats. Realizing he knew who they were, William looked at Marie in astonishment. She must have figured it out, too.

  “That’s the popcorn I saw this morning,” said Marie with a gasp as she covered her mouth.

  When they reached their seats, the popcorn baseball player with the hat on sideways said, “Take the glasses off and Shhhhhh! I want to see if this ball goes out of the park.”

  “Why should we take the glasses off?” asked Marie quietly.

  “While you are wearing them, time stands still,” the ball player said. Exasperated, he heaved a deep sigh. “Look around. I have been waiting for a baseball movie for a long time, and now I’m still waiting.”

  “Shouldn’t all of you be behind the movie screen with the rest of the… talking popcorn?” Marie asked.

  “We didn’t want to watch this movie from the cheap seats,” said a little baseball player in red pinstripes. Then he continued, unable to stop himself and speaking very quickly, added, “As luck would have it, you two opened the door and distracted the Mayor and the Sergeant, and I’m so fast I stole home. I even scored these great front row seats. They don’t call me Ty-nee Cob for nothing! Once the coast was clear, the rest followed. That’s Willy Maize, the one with the baseball glove,” said Ty-nee pointing toward another player. His uniform had blue pinstripes and numbers. “He is the star of the other team.”